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Jun. 13th, 2013

Champion

Running on Three Cylinders Yet Flying High with the Man of Steel

Hello, my old flist friends!  Long time no see!

I'm afraid I can't even remember when last I made a post on my old journal here. For that I am very sorry for being absent for so very long.  *forgive me??*   Real Life has, I'm sorry to say, taken humongous bites out of me, particularly in the past year and a half.  I won't get into details here, but they not only involve enormous work-related stress and changes, but also personal stress, family crises, and a major health crisis last February that nearly killed me.  (don't worry though, after a serious surgery and lengthy hospital stay, my recovery is nearly finished, and, if I can survive the next two weeks, I will be okay, thank the Lord!)

And worse, in recent months, both my beloved grandparents have taken serious downturns for the worse in their own health, (Grandma = Alzheimers and Heart; Grandad = Heart and a myriad of other issues) and it's been a rather tough go of things.  It has culminated in another crisis last week, where my grandad was rushed to Emergency, and then abruptly diagnosed with terminal cancer.  And then, just one week later, a few days ago, my Grandad rather suddenly passed away.

I am still in the depths of mourning and grief, and still a bit of shock too.  :-(   It happened so fast.  *still can't stop weeping*  Now, it might seem like he was 'only' my grandfather, but you have to understand that I am VERY close to my grandparents, and am the only of our family who lived somewhat close to them, and visited them nearly every weekend these past few years.  I didn't grow up with a father, and he's always taken that role, and therefore been a dad to me, and my Grandma a second mom.  *sigh*  It's suddenly struck me what this weekend is, and it's going to be a very difficult Father's Day for me, and for my Mom.  :-(

*pulls self together*  So, yeah, I am definitely running a gasket or two short right now, and running on empty.  I have felt my reserves of strength and resilience running dry; I am absolutely exhausted and drained.  I have had a tough year with my current class and boss/principal, and I feel like I have nothing more to give.  Yet it's not the end of the year just yet, and I don't know how I'm going to make it and still manage to finish strong.  My third term report cards are due on Monday, and I haven't even started writing them.  I can't even start them till I get some serious marking done first, amongst other tasks!  I desperately need time, and energy, and mental alertness, and willpower, and find myself terrifyingly short on them all.

And so, the last thing I should be doing right now is posting, (especially after so long a hiatus!) or taking time off for anything, really!  But I also felt very compelled to do so today.  (Maybe all the emotions running high and conflictingly??)  And the last thing I should have done was take some time off yesterday evening to do something completely unrelated to my work and school demands or my family obligations right now.  And yet that's exactly what I did, despite everything.  I couldn't really help myself.  (and perhaps it was meant to be, with an unexpected gift right now in these times, and it could be argued that my decision was the healthy, therapeutic, 'right' one!  I hope!)

So, I went to see THE movie of the year last night, (well, other than perhaps Star Trek, which was brilliant!) the new Superman movie, Man of Steel.  And oh, it was JUST what I needed right now.  Talk about escapist entertainment!  A healing, renewing journey with my favourite hero ever, Superman.  :-)  The message was incredible: Hope.  And it could not have come at a better time.

It was a gift from above:  I couldn't afford to go right now, both in terms of time and money, and then, my friend who manages The ComicShop in Vancouver, where I once worked for many, many years, called me up out of the blue, just when I was feeling the most burdened and sad and worried and low, and said the 'Shop had received a few double-passes for the premiere preview screening of Man of Steel, (a rare event indeed as, ironically enough, the store hardly ever gets the comic book-related movie passes any more) and offered me one.

I could scarcely believe it.  (and nevetheless was still going to give it up, under my current circumstances, and then, at the last minute I changed my mind.  And I am so glad I did.  Some guilt I do have, admittedly, but no regrets!!)  It really was a much needed gift!

It seemed apropos too, that it was this film that I was given at this time; my Grandad enjoyed comic book characters and their movies, and further, loved to actually fly himself.  He was a pilot in WW II, for the RCAF, (the Royal Canadian AirForce) and he adored flying his aircraft, and dreamed for years of getting to fly again.  He would have loved this movie whole-heartedly.  (I truly hope he's flying now.)

Ah, since I'm one of the first people to have been lucky enough to be able to see the movie, there's no way I can discuss it without spoiling anything for anyone, so I will refrain.  But I do have to say, that although the movie isn't entirely perfect, I loved it, and was so incredibly thrilled and moved by so many parts of it.  I am also deeply grateful for the vision of Superman that it holds to, one that fits so much of what I have always seen and loved so very dearly in him.   (And the flight scenes alone were spectacular; I loved them!  The Krypton sequences and origin story were fantastic.  And the fight scenes with Zod and crew = wow!)  The sense of gentleness, compassion, and sheer GOODNESS was what impressed me most.  Gorgeous and powerful.  (just like Kal!)   My head is absolutely swimming with images and scenes and sounds from the film, even as I'm here (supposedly working on school stuff) on a short break at my desk, a day later.

I will try to post a proper review once more have seen it, (and once my report cards and other deadlines have been met - perhaps after the end of the school year (in Canada we don't finish until June 28th, fyi, American friends).  Meanwhile, I have so much to accomplish, including a funeral to help organise and get emotionally through.

It really helped, however, to have Superman in my life again right now, a fictional friend, yes, but true nevertheless, hovering beside me like a guardian angel, and like a beautiful, heart-felt gift from beyond.

Blessings to you, Grandad:  Please Fly On Forever!

Take care, my friends.  Talk soon, I hope.

Pax

"Up, Up, and Away!!!"

Jan. 1st, 2011

Cute wolf

Happy New Year!

Hello, my old LJ Friends!

A very Happy New Year to you all!!!!    :-)

And though it's a bit late, I hope you all had a peaceful, cheery, and lovely Christmas, and that the rest of the Christmas season goes merrily.

It's been a monstrous age since I've last visited LiveJournal, I'm very sorry to say.  :-(   And I have missed you, my friends, and fandom as well!

I don't get too much downtime these days, I'm afraid, but I'm finally getting a wee bit more settled in my life, (getting a more stable job, among other things, plus I endured a pretty stressful and crazy (and long) move this past spring and summer, and am finally nearly unpacked and settled into my wee little new place) and I hope to make time to write and read again somehow in the year to come - and learn how to manage what little free time I do get (my job is a real bear!) a lot better so that I can attempt to do those things again!  (and I do apologize for my long absence, and for all those stories that lie unfinished!  I'm sorry!)

It's a cold New Year's up here in BC's (in Canada) interior, and I've just come back from watching crazy people jump into a frozen lake for the annual Polar Bear swim.  Even standing around on the ice watching these hardy folks take their freezing plunge (they have to chainsaw a hole in the ice for it!) was chilly, so I stand in awe of these people who kick off the year with such an insane but somehow intriguing tradition.  Heh.

But a New Year always is hopeful,  because it offers a chance for a fresh, new start, to leave the mistakes and trials and pain of the old year behind and begin anew.  Right?

And as my body is healing from a terrible back injury (from summer, but still isn't totally well, but it's better!) and my mind heals from a great awful bout of depression, so too can the spirit heal, as well as a sense of creativity and friendship which can be renewed.  (I hope!)  Isn't Christmas and New Years grand for that gift of new hope and sense of optimism?  It's so neat.   ^_^

So, my friends, I wish you all and your families and loved ones a most Happy, Healthy, and Hope-filled New Year, with all the blessings, peace, and cheer of the season, and throughout the year to come.

Cheers to you!

Pax  :-)


"Should auld acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind ... I'll share a cup of kindness yet and sing auld lang syne."



^_^







Feb. 28th, 2010

Canadian Flag

Vancouver Winter Olympics, (Pt. 2 - More Pics! )

Wow!  What an amazing conclusion to the 21st Winter Olympic Games in Vancouver!

The Closing Ceremonies were really cute and very tongue-in-cheek, a lot more lighthearted than the Opening Ceremonies, and made good fun of Canadian stereotypes. Loved the little 'correction' bit with the Olympic Torch and Cauldron!  I love a people who can laugh at themselves.

Canada's National Obsession and More Pics!Collapse )

Feb. 27th, 2010

Olympic Torch (Cauldron)

Vancouver Winter Olympics, Ground Perspective

Hello, Sports Fans!  :-)



Well, this is a very late post, but as it's the last weekend of the 2010 Winter Olympics, I thought I'd still post a few pics and such anyway.  After all, it's not every day that the Olympic Games are held in practically one's own backyard!

As many of you know, the reason I'm this behind in posting anything about the Olympics is because of all the trauma my family and I have been going through over the past two weeks.  It's been quite hard, but I have so much to be grateful about too.  (including to you, my friends, who have offered support and prayers and warm thoughts when I needed it most.  Thank you so much!)  And I'm currently up in my hometown, (where there is still some snow, and I'm  hoping to go for a cross-country ski in between other things, including watching more events - which will be therapeutic and stress-relief, I hope) for a couple of days before returning to the grind of work.  (Today and tomorrow is the Open House in my suite - I can't help but worry about how that's going, and hoping my stuff is all safe!!!  *bites nails*)

In the midst of my great stress, exhaustion, and grief, the Olympic Games have proved a welcome distraction, and soI'm posting some pics here for your persusal.  I've been trying my best to follow the Games and events when I can. 

'The 21st Winter Olympics - in my backyard!!!Collapse )

So, to finish off, here are a few more photos of some of the crowds and things to see downtown Vancouver, with a few of my friends and co-workers and students interspersed throughout.  (I don't know how many pics can fit on one post, so I'll do a few separate posts here.)

I hope everyone who cares about such things are enjoying the final days of this Olympiad!

Cheers!

Paxwolf the Non-Athlete, But Big Olympic Fan  :-)


Below here is one of the Torchbearers in downtown Vancouver, the day of the Opening Ceremonies:



And these are a couple shots of a few friends and coworkers (while standing outside in freezing rain) watching the Opening Ceremonies on a giant outdoor screen in Yaletown LiveCity (downtown, and the Olympic Torch and another torchbearer. :-)




Feb. 25th, 2010

The Old Wolf Remembers

Surviving and Living




Hello, my friends.  (tired wave)

It's been a truly gruelling week and a half, and I've rarely been so torn apart, physically and emotionally.  The loss of my uncle Ron last week has hit me hard - I can't believe how much I miss him! 

My grandad is now out of the hospital, still weak and shaky, but lucky to be alive, and very fortunate that the doctors were able to reverse his kidney failure.  I'm really trying to count my blessings.Reminder to Self: It's Not All About MeCollapse )
Well, the Olympics have proven a blessed distraction, even if sadly I haven't had, due to the moving and family responsibilities, much of an opportunity to enjoy or take part in the many, many events that are occurring in my fair city, but I've followed what I can here and there.  I'm going to have a separate post, if I at all can find the time and some internet access, (wherever I may find myself) to post a wee entry about the Olympics, along with a few photos.

But that's my update, for now, on things here in the Wolfden.  My sincerest thanks, packmates, for all your kind support and gracious good wishes in this time of trial.  I so very much appreciate it, and appreciate you.

Blessings and peace,

Pax   :-)

Feb. 19th, 2010

Wolf howl

Grieving


My Uncle Ron died on Wednesday morning. 

-

:-(

I'm still in a little bit of shock - his end came so much more quickly than we had anticipated, and I'm having a little trouble processing it, accepting the reality of his death.  I'm gtold that is perhaps normal.
  I guess it's also because I'd grown quite close to him over the past couple of years, and often was the only family member, sometimes the only person he saw for weeks, other than my Grandad.  He came to rely on my a great deal, and I guess I did the same.  When you know someone all your life, and care about them, love them, and need them, I guess it's hard to let them go, and to say goodbye.

It's perhaps a blessing that he passed away relatively quickly, as he had started to suffer quite a bit towards the end.  And thankfully too, I was able to pull some strings and get a doctor to give me permission to wheel my grandad over from the nearby hospital in a wheelchair on Tuesday night, and he was able to see his little brother one final time, and get to say good-bye. My uncle knew he (and my Mom and I) was there, though he could no longer speak, and appeared to be in some considerable pain.  It was very hard to witness.

*tearing up*

They say it's a blessing to die on Ash Wednesday, and I truly hope that is so.  Right now, all I know is that I will miss him terribly.   :-(

But I believe with all my heart that he is in a better place now.  And that one day we will see each other again.

Thank you, everyone. 

I wish you all peace and blessings.

Pax


Tags: ,

Feb. 16th, 2010

Gazing Wolf

Crisis Mode, Coping With Stressors, and Olympic Craziness



Hello, all,  Pax here.  :-)

Happy Mardi Gras, Shrove Tuesday, Last Hurrah Before Lent and all that.

It's been a little while since I was last able to get online, and last able to update.  And as one of my Resolutions at New Year's was to make a greater attempt to journal more, (both on my personal handwritten journal and here on LJ) I figured I'm overdue.  And as journalling and communicating (most certainly with YOU, my friends!)  are both such great therapy, well, LJ wins out this week! 

Several of the things I last wrote about in January and December are still very much in play, and unfortunately, my stress levels have been through the roof.  But I am coping as best I can, and counting my blessings, and generally trying to keep sane.  Making the effort to find life's little joys and beauties admidst the turmoil definitely helps.

Running With Scissors ...Collapse )

THank you, dear friends, for simply being out there, and I truly hope you all are enjoying calmer seas or exciting (in a good way) and enjoyable events, whether you are celebrating the Olympiad or not.

Take care,

A Weary, Worn Wolfling

Jan. 12th, 2010

Cold Comfort

FIC: "JLA: Necessary Force" (Part 15: "Valley of the Shadow of Death" - Last Half)

And here is the second half of Part 15 of Necessary Force! (Finally!) Hope it was worth the wait ... *blush* (The first half of Part 15 is here)

JLA

“Necessary Force”

by Paxwolf

Note: This fanfiction story originally was begun some years ago, and is therefore set current to the (comic book version!) JLA lineup at the time, specifically during the Grant Morrison and Mark Waid runs on the title, and with certain details from that era still intact. It is therefore ‘old’, and has taken several years to see fruition, and therefore be aware that certain discrepancies and dated information - in terms of continuity - may still be contained within.

Disclaimer:The Justice League of America and its associated characters are owned and copyrighted by DC Comics and Time Warner. No income is being generated by the Internet publication of this story. (Which really is quite a pity as I am dirt poor – and it would be oh so fun to be able to earn a living playing in DC’s grand Playground! (Lucky, lucky pro writers and artists!!) Original characters do also exist in this fic and I suppose that might make them owned by me. ;-)

Warnings: Violence, Some Language, and Mature Themes. Readers’ Discretion is advised.

Thanks To: mithen, without whose skilled beta-reading and sweet encouragement this epic may never have been posted, and to Kungfunurse for some of the original beta-reading, and to the kind and helpful (years-long!) feedback supplied by the gracious Gwil and the lovely Janet Coleman Sides, both of whom stepped out of their own fandoms (Stargate:SG-1 and Gatchaman respectively) in order to read about the denizens of the DC Universe.

Also thanks to damos for icons and techie services rendered.

Summary:When a powerful terrorist threatens the safety of the planet, the Justice League must go to extremes to stop him, and Superman and Batman may have to make the biggest sacrifice of all.

All Previous Parts of the Fic can be found here, on the Main Page! (or you can scroll back a few entries!)

Summary of THIS Part: The League takes over an Ayestrom-controlled outpost, and in his fatigue and fear, Batman is forced to remember a recent disturbing and evocative encounter with Superman, where the frightening content of his long hinted-at dreams is revealed, which may have deadly consequences for the Man of Steel and the League.

Part XV(2nd Half)of NF under the cut!Collapse ) ----

.

To Be Continued. (soon!) :-)

All previous Parts to this fic can be found right Here, on the Main Page.

Talking Some Sense into the Stubborn Idi

FIC: "JLA: Necessary Force" (Part 15: "Valley of the Shadow of Death" - 1st Half)

Hi Folks!  Happy New Year indeed!  :-)

As my flist knows, I've had a terribly difficult time posting this oh-so-long-overdue update, but thanks to the efforts of damos, (and the help of mithen and the good advice of kawahori - thanks muchly, guys!) I'm managing to do so at last.  As some of you know, I'd attempted to post Part 15 here last week, but only managed, after much frustration, to post the first quarter of it.  Well, I'm reposting the entire first half (followed by the second!) here for easier reading.  (apologies for all the confusion, everyone!)  But those two previously posted bits can still be seen, together with your comments, on the two posts previous to this one.

Part 15 (1st Half) of Necessary Force under the cut!Collapse )

Jan. 7th, 2010

Teammates

FIC: "JLA: Necessary Force" (Part 15: "Valley of the Shadow of Death" - 2nd Bit)

And here is JLA: "Necessary Force", Part 15 "Valley of the Shadow of Death" continued.  (2nd Part of the chapter) 

(see previous post for Disclaimer and all Story Info!)

Part 15 of Necessary Force continued here (Part A)!Collapse )

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